Monday, July 25, 2011

Same-sex Marriages.... What's the big deal?

If we as a society paid as much attention to the situations we have at hand that affects our everyday life as we do with things that are honestly none of our business, I would like to believe that our country would be run in a much better way...

With that being said, I sat down not too long ago and started to read the most recent edition of Time Magazine. Earlier this year, I came across an amazing deal for this magazine subscription. $2 for the whole year! Can't beat this price. Within the first couple of issues, I found myself becoming hooked on this one and always looking forward to receiving my weekly magazine. So, while reading this issue tonight I came across a small section that made me stop and of course sent me into one of my moments of debate. On page 14 in the bottom right hand corner, there is a boxed off area that shares this information:


In case you are unable to read this, because I can see that is it not as clear as I was hoping, it reads:

"Number: 764 Marriage licenses set to be issued by New York City on July 24, the first day for legal same-sex unions in the state. Lucky couples were to be chosen by lottery."

In no way am I writing this out of frustration or anger due to the same-sex "unions", but I find myself angered over other things that stand behind this. First off, why are same-sex marriages referred to as "unions" and not just marriage? What is the difference in people falling in love with someone over the same sex versus someone falling in love with someone of the opposite sex? Why should we as a society be so consumed in this that we lose sight of the meaning behind the relationship and marriage? So what, someone loves someone that is of their same sex? I love my husband and he is a man. What is the difference? Why should our country or anyone for that matter have so much control over who marries who and what others do and who they love? 

They say you can't help who you fall in love with. Isn't that what we are all taught and what we discover as we grow from children into adults? Yet, as a society, many find it okay to frown down upon others that happy and confident with themselves and their relationships with someone of the same sex. Why should they be labeled differently? Why should they have to refer to the one they love and are spending their lives with as their "domestic partner"? Really??? What's the big issue with them referring to that person as their spouse, their husband or wife? 

I have been blessed with some pretty amazing people in my life, not all of which "follow the rules" that society in general expect. There should be no rules, there should be no discrimination. I have not only friends that are in love with someone that shares the same sex they are, but family as well. And you know what, there is nothing that makes things awkward, nor does it change the love and the way I care for them as the person they are. There is no difference in my eyes as to who they are.  Does one that is in love and sharing their lives with someone of the same sex as opposed to someone of the opposite sex really any different that I am? Does it change their level of intelligence? Does it make them less of a person or weaker? Does it make them unable to follow, pursue, and accomplish not only their dreams, but all that they set out to do? Not in the least bit. They are no different that you or I in our relationships with someone of the opposite sex. 

To me, it takes an awful lot of self confidence to come out into our country and let it be known who you are in love with when there is that fear of how you will be treated in the days, months, and years to come. Guess what? The family and friends that I have that you may think of as "different" or "wrong" are really no different than any of us. They put their pants on the same and they accomplish the same things. They get an education. They go to work. They form careers and friendships. They enjoy life and live it to the fullest. They have their own families and take vacations. Is there anything different? Not at all. Who any of us choose to spend our days, nights, months, years, and life with is our business. To me, no I am not attracted to the same sex, but guess what, I am also not attracted to guys that have long hair or guys that are short or have bad feet or don't brush their teeth or wear thuggish clothing or are rude and obnoxious or are full of piercings.... and my list could go on and on. That doesn't mean I would write them off as a friend, it just means that I have my ways set in the type of person I find attractive and want to be with. My husband has the qualities I want in the person I have chosen to share my life with. If you stop and think about it all, we each have our own likes and dislikes in the person we choose to spend our lives with. 

If we as a society would stop spending so much time interfering and trying to control things that are quite honestly none of our business, then our country would be headed in a better direction. We spend so much time focused on things that we have business being apart of and spending money as well as spreading headaches over this control issue we have in things that are never are concern. It should not be a big deal in same-sex relationships to slowly be able to complete their bond by marriage, because it should have never been such a big deal to begin with. If a man and a man love each other of a woman and a woman love each other then they should have always been allowed to marry each other. 

I hope that one day in the near future, this is something that becomes legal across the United States. I hope that people learn look past the same sex, and instead, look a little closer at the person and people are that they are judging. I see absolutely no reason that there should be any laws, rules, or regulations on who we as an individual choose to fall in love with and marry. When I look back over the years and the ones I have been blessed with, there are many that have fallen in love with someone of the same sex as they are, and truth be told I could not be any happier for them. I see them happier with their spouse than I see many opposite sex marriages. Maybe it's because at the end of the day, they already know that the truth is the best way to go. 

So, next time you or someone you know, feels the need to judge anyone for finding happiness in something you find of no interest, be careful before you are so quick to judge and be happy for everyone around you that has be lucky enough to just find the person they want to share the most intimate to the smallest details of their lives with. Regardless of their gender, height, weight, clothing style, makeup, beauty, or anything else, they are really no different than me or you, except they may have a little more strength and understanding behind them.